Ghost Mothers

Ghost Mothers

So many women talk about their relationships with their mothers—no matter how old they are. For some, their mother, from whom they have supposedly separated long ago, still occupies a central place in the psyche. She’s too close, she’s too much. She has advice, is nosy, and interferes. The daughter wants time away, she wants boundaries, and fights for her separation from her mother.

For others, the mother still occupies the psyche, but with a wrenching kind of longing—a mother that is biological and even sometimes present, but also a mother who is so self-involved as to be emotionally absent, or literally out of the picture. This kind of mother takes up space and energy as a nagging, missing piece, a ghost. Her image hovers, her memory, or perhaps a dream of how it could have been, should have been, but never is.

Which kind of mother do you have?

My mother was a dream. I realize now, 10 years after her death, that I was always trying to get the dream to come true—to have her be warm and huggy, to have her want to know me, to visit me in my house, to know my children. To know me. It never happened. It left a yearning that I played out with men, it left a hole that I tried to fill in many ways.

When I was little, she left me when I was four years old, and once a year appeared in the landscape of my life—I lived with her mother—only to disappear too soon and in a flurry of anger at her own mother, without seeming to notice how hard it was for me.

So many people—men and women—struggle with this kind of emptiness, the burn of anger in the pit of the stomach, the unanswered questions that can’t be asked—why are you like this?

Mothers who are neglectful, selfish, and abandoning do not set out to do these things, they are a result of her own problems, her own pain, and maybe even mental illness. It is hard for us as her child to see this fully, or to forgive it.

How to help to heal the Ghost Mother wound:

1. Learn about your mother’s life—how she became the way she is—though talking with relatives, if she won’t talk to you directly, or by sitting down and hashing through history shown in photos and family albums.

2. Find adoptive mothers who will nurture you, and friends who understand your story. Learn to mother yourself—though therapy, through having children of your own. They will teach you.

3. Write your story. Tell your story. Having witnesses to your story is a part of healing. Seeing compassion in the eyes of others shows you that you are worthy of it, and deserve it.

4. Learn to forgive. Work on it. Work on being yourself and having a life you like and enjoy.

5. Learn to surround yourself with who you like, people who love and like you, and beauty that makes you feel part of the web of life.

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How Great Really Is The Risk Of Catching Bird Flu?

How Great Really Is The Risk Of Catching Bird Flu?

With bird flu being on every television station and newspaper, it is easy to get caught up in the panic surrounding this new viral outbreak. However, do you find yourself wondering if this should really be a concern? Do you remember when everyone was becoming hysterical over the likelihood of killer bees sweeping the United States? I do not know about you, but I have yet to be chased down by an African Honey Bee. So, what are your real chances of catching bird flu?

To answer the question as asked: it is not very likely for you to catch bird flu right now. Of course, they key to this statement is “right now”. Currently, an outbreak of bird flu is occurring in Asia. Over 100 people have contracted the virus and over half have died. Also, as of yet, the virus can only be transmitted to humans from infected birds. Therefore, when a person becomes infected, they can not pass the virus on to others. However, change may be on the horizon.

Many experts believe, within time, the bird flu virus will mutate and be able to be passed from human to human. This is actually a likely occurrence, as influenza strands are known for their adaptability. With every human the virus infects, it becomes more likely to transform. When this happens, the numbers affected by bird flu will increase exponentially.

Even with limited means of being transmitted, avian influenza, or bird flu, has spread across Asia rapidly. Imagine how quickly it will affect the various parts of the world, once it is carried by humans over oceans, in planes and on boats. Densely populated areas will see the worst part of the virus, as close human contact is a breeding ground for disease.

Interestingly enough, this is not the first time an influenza virus threatened massive death. In 1918, the Spanish Flu killed 50 to 100 million people; in 1957, the Asian Flu killed 1 to 1.5 million; and in 1969, the Hong Kong Flu killed roughly 1 million people. Considering this seems to happen every few years, is it that far fetched it could be on its way again? Is history repeating itself? The answer can only be answered in time. If the virus does not mutate, everyone could all worked up over nothing. However, if it does and a pandemic occurs as expected, up to 30% of the world’s population could be infected.

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RV Travel Fun In Virginia

RV Travel Fun Virginia

There is just no better way to see the beautiful state of Virginia than by RV. Traveling by RV allows one to take time and smell the roses, or in this case, see the Smoky Mountains, the Shenandoah River and Luray Caverns to name just a few of the attractions waiting in Virginia.

Drive the Blue Ridge Parkway for that country road that John Denver sang about. This spectacular highway connects the Skyline Drive in Virginia to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in North Carolina. Pass by impressive scenery such as Humpback Rocks where you can take a tour of farm buildings from the 19th century. Later, enjoy a picnic on the shore of the James River which crosses Virginia and goes all the way to the Atlantic - this is a perfect spot to camp in before continuing your journey in Virginia. See the stunning views at the Peaks of Otter and stop by the Blue Ridge Music Center (created to preserve Virginia's historic music) where you might hear the strum of a banjo or the song of a fiddle.

This famous river is around 150 miles long and runs through Virginia and West Virginia. The Shenandoah River is popular with water enthusiasts for tubing, rafting, kayaking and canoeing. Few things compare to floating down the Shenandoah on a tube. There is no need to paddle or steer because the gentle current of the Shenandoah carries you along. Many people take another tube along; this one filled with drinks and snacks. Kick back and relax; just be sure to take a hat and sunscreen because the sun can get intense.

There are many outfitters who will rent out equipment and even drop you off/pick you up (since all of these activities leave you several miles down the river). After a fun day on the river you can spend the night in Shenandoah River State Park. The park has many lovely campsites, fresh water, picnic shelters, showers and everything else you might need.

These caverns, which are over 4,000,000 centuries old, were discovered in 1878. Since then they have had millions of visitors and have become Eastern America's most popular caves. See breath-taking flowstones like Titania's Veil which is a white formation of pure calcite, Saracen's Tent which looks like a flowing parted curtain and the Dream Lake which, although the biggest lake in the caverns, is just around 20 inches deep. Stop and listen to the Stalacpipe Organ; the largest musical instrument in the world is actually 3 ? acres of stalactites which, when hit with a rubber mallet, produce symphonic quality tones.

Across the parking lot of Luray Caverns, the Garden Maze is worth a visit. Eight-foot tall hedges have been cultivated into a maze a half-mile long. It is easy to get lost in these tall and winding hedges but there is a tall platform standing out for those who get lost.

Virginia may be advertised as being for lovers, but actually, it is for RV travelers; those adventurous people who love to travel, explore, seek out new places and "boldly go where no one has gone before"

Read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/travel-articles/rv-travel-fun-in-virginia-3804475.html#ixzz17YZ2PwNh

Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

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Home Wireless Network Security Issues

Home Wireless Network Security Issues

Running a business from home has its advantages, including no commute, a more accommodating work schedule, fresh coffee and home-cooked meals at any time you want.

But running a business from home using a home wireless local area network (WLAN) with your computer may lead to thievery of confidential information and hacker or virus penetration unless proper actions are taken. As WLANs send information back and forth over radio waves, someone with the right type of receiver in your immediate area could be picking up the transmission, thus acquiring access to your computer.

Here is a list of things that you should consider as a result of implementing a home wireless network setup used your business:

Viruses could be loaded onto your laptop which could be transferred to the company's network when you go back to work.

Up to 75 per cent of home wireless network WLAN users do not have standard security features installed, and 20 per cent are left completely open as default configurations and are not secured, but are made for the users to have their network up and running ASAP.

It is recommended that home wireless network router/access point system setups be always done though a wired client.

Always change the default administrative password on your home wireless network router/access points to a secured password.

Enable at least 128-bit WEP encryption on both card and access point. Change your WEP keys periodically. If equipment does not support at least 128-bit WEP encryption, consider replacing it. Although there are security issues with WEP, it represents minimum level of security, and it should be enabled.

Change the default SSID on your router/access point to a hard to guess name. Setup your computer device to connect to this SSID by default.

Setup router/access points so as to not broadcast the SSID. The same SSID needs to be setup on the client side manually. This feature may not be available on all equipment.

Setup your home wireless network router to block anonymous internet requests or pings.

On each computer having a wireless network card, network connection properties should be configured to allow connection to Access Point Networks Only. Computer to computer (peer to peer) connections should not be allowed.

Enable MAC filtering. Deny connection to wireless network for unspecified MAC addresses. MAC or physical addresses are accessible through your computer device wireless network connection setup and they are physically written on network cards. When adding new wireless cards / computer to the network, their MAC addresses should be registered with the router /access point.

Your home wireless network router should have firewall features enabled and demilitarized zone (DMZ) feature disabled. Periodically test your hardware and personal firewalls using Shields Up test available at http://www.grc.com. All computers should have a properly configured personal firewall in addition to a hardware firewall.

Update router/access point firmware when new versions become available.

Locate router/access points away from strangers so they cannot reset the router/access point to default settings. Also, locate router/access points in the middle of the building rather than near windows to limit signal coverage outside the building.

You should know that nothing is 100%. While none of the actions suggested above will provide full 100% protection, countermeasures do exist that will help. The good collection of suggested preventative actions contained herein can help you deter an intruder trying to access your home wireless network. This deterrant then makes other insecure networks easier targets for the intruder to persue.

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Fitness Is Only A Short Walk Away

Fitness Is Only A Short Walk Away

The scientific experts all seem to be saying the same thing when it comes to health and fitness:

1 Obesity, overweight and physical inactivity are at record levels and soaring

2 These problems lead to increased risks from heart disease, strokes, diabetes and many other chronic illnesses

3 Most of us can reduce the risks of these illnesses by taking up a balanced diet and moderate exercise.

Advice on diet is beyond the scope of this article but, when it comes to exercise, one of the easiest ways to do more is to adopt an activity we all do instinctively but never think about seriously ... walking.

Walking is something you've been able to do since you were just a few months old, but have you ever considered taking it up as a serious fitness activity?

Well if you haven't you should!

The health benefits of walking are more compelling than for any other physical activity, simply because walking is so easy to do and you don't have to work up a sweat!

In the UK, The Chief Medical Officer recommends 30 minutes of 'moderately intensive' physical activity on five or more days a week.

So if you're out of shape but the thought of exercising fills you with horror, why not just start walking more often on a regular basis? You don't need any special equipment, you can do it anywhere and at anytime. And it's FREE!

Here are just some of the health reasons for taking up a walking routine:

* reduce your risks of heart disease, strokes and diabetes

* reduce your risks of high blood pressure

* reduce your risks of minor illnesses

* start to bring your weight under control

* get the stress in your life under control

* improve your sleep

* improve your posture

And for maximum health benefits, start your walking activities by getting out into the open air.

Walk in your local park, your local garden center, down by your local river or canal. Get out into the countryside and breathe a little of that rarefied air only to be found in the great outdoors!

You'll find it'll help you get life's problems into a more manageable perspective.

You don't have to go hill walking for miles. After all, you're only walking for 30 minutes, so short walks are all that's required.

And once you've done it, you'll want to do it again. This is guaranteed!

Not only that, once you've walked in the countryside for even a little while, you'll want to walk further. And the best rewards are usually to be found at the top of the hill. Of course, this will mean you'll have to work a bit harder, but the greatest benefit of all is getting to the top of a hill to see the view.

This on its own is enough to challenge the most stressful lifestyle and enable you to breathe far more easily.

For example, after reaching the top of Mam Tor in the Peak District (the UK's most popular National Park) and surveying the amazing views of Hope Valley and the Vale of Edale, your troubles will vanish into the ether and your heart will start pounding, not because you're about to have a heart attack, but out of awe and inspiration!

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Forgotten Children

Forgotten Children

Imagine being put out on the street to live life on your own without knowing how to write a check, drive a car, take a bus or fill out a job application. Unbelievable, right? Wrong. It happens to thousands of children every year.

These children are orphans. Many are turned out of the orphanage at the age of 16. Some stay on until the age of 18, but few leave the orphanage prepared for life outside.

Even in the United States, where about 20,000 children are emancipated from the foster care system each year, less than 20% are self-sufficient. Only about half have completed high school. 25% experience homelessness. 60% of the girls have had babies of their own already.

And believe it or not, things look peachy in the U.S. compared to the rest of the great, big world for orphans turned adults.

In Russia, many children leaving the orphanage have never even taken a trip to the store before. 40% become homeless. 30% commit crimes. 10% commit suicide. It’s a grim world for these children.

In many countries, those who survive are faced with a social stigma for the rest of their lives. In Russia they get a stamp on their passport declaring their place of origin the orphanage. Even in adult life they cannot escape the label of orphan. It’s their scarlet letter.

In Russian, children with disabilities are never emancipated into general society. They are considered incurable invalids and sent to a sanatorium for life. An incurable invalid might be a midget or a child missing a hand or a foot. It might be a child born without sexual organs. Those labeled as invalids are often children who have perfect mental and physical capabilities. Differences are intolerable in these societies. Life on the outside would be impossible under the social stigma of a disability.

These children could life perfectly normal lives in the United States but are confined for life to the walls of an institution in Eastern Europe. Adoption is a life-saver for these children.

Many parents choose international adoption just for this reason. They can offer a better-- a much better-- life to a child from an underprivileged country. They can see an angel where others have only seen an invalid.

Hundreds of thousands of children are waiting for families to rescue them from coming of age in an orphanage. For most the wait is futile.

Sadder yet are the potential matches between orphans and families that go unpaired. There are thousands of families with the financial and emotional resources it takes to raise another child. They are willing and eager to care for and love a child as their own but unable to come up with the large adoption fees required upfront. The $20,000 price tag is a hard hurdle to overcome.

Many adopting families beg and borrow enough to cover these initial fees from families and friends. Those who are able to cash in their IRAs or take out a second mortgage are fortunate. Some run up credit card debt to cover adoption fees. Many give up and never consider adopting again.

The road to adoption is steep, but the rewards are tremendous. Imagine giving a child a warm bubble bath before bed. Now imagine that this is a brand new experience for your child. Warm bath water is a luxury many of these children never know. Even if you are unable to adopt a child yourself you can still make a difference by donating to a children’s charity which offers adoption grants to families adopting older or special needs children.

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Work From Home Scams In Disguise

Work From Home Scams In Disguise

If you noticed, there are a lot of "Work From Home" advertisements in the various search engines. Many of them claim to be trying to help you not to be scammed. Some of these advertisements are legitimate, while some may be just trying to lure you into their trap, by claiming to be an anti-scam website.

These malicious websites will then ask for your email to subscribe to their "newsletters" which they claim to be helpful. But instead, you will find your inbox/junk mail being filled up and spammed daily. These mails will then encourage you to help them by working from your home. If you do bother reading, you would find that they would tempt you with all sorts of offers. And after several weeks of being "brainwashed", you might decide to work for them.

Please do avoid this kind of situation as it will not do you any good. You might end up working for them and getting nothing in return. Yes, nothing at all. I am not saying all the websites that require you to fill in your email are scams. But rather, if you see your inbox/junk mail being spammed, it is wise to either transfer them to the junk mail, or if they are already in the junk mail section, just ignore those emails.

Finding a legitimate online job is difficult, but if you manage to find one, I guarantee you that you will love that job and you will never ever leave that job at all. Some companies pay high price just to get their work done because they might need it urgently and can't seem to get anyone in their office to complete. Online surveys are also quite popular among people who are working from home. Some surveys pay up to $5 dollars per survey that you complete.

So, keep your eyes wide open and avoid scam artistes. Don't be the next victim.

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